i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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