u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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