That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
