Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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