It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Randomize
