I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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