this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
