He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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