i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
