and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
