I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
