Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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