We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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