i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Randomize
