does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
