the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
