have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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