so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
We got so high we made milksteak
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
