I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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