i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
