Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
