I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
