the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
