It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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