Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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