all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I need to stop coming to work sober
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
