she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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