I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
