Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
I did not marry a roomba.
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