Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
