i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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