She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
