Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
