so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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