I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
