Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Randomize
