dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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