so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
