D3 body, D1 cock
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
