So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
