so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
