i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
