Don't you send me to vm
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
