Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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