This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Randomize
