Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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