Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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