yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
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