try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
