I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
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