Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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