Taylor Swift is so right about you.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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